AT THE BOTTOM OF A WELL

You know, I have been doing some thinking lately. Yeah, I can hear you all now; he is thinking again, this is going to be trouble! No, no, it’s all good, no crazy ideas, yet. Have you ever had times when you feel like you are at the bottom of a well? There are probably other analogies I could use that you might relate to better. Let’s just say, “Lucy you have some splaining to do.” I have noticed a trend only relevant now because I had to be here for a while before I could recognize it (any statisticians in the crowd?).

There are times when I become so preoccupied with what is going on here, so exhausted and just plain burned out that before I realize it, I haven’t called anyone in a while or answered an email for a few days. It’s kind of like being at the bottom of a well. You just feel so isolated, cut off from everything and well, just alone. Then suddenly the bucket comes down the well, you jump in and you are back to reality, whatever that is these days. My reality has been what is going on back home, my family and friends. That bucket at times is the packages received or an email or maybe a card. You snap back into reality. Sometimes however, that reality can be painful if someone back home is having trouble. You get so preoccupied with current goings-on you just divert. And I will be honest here, there are times when you just want to call it quits and go home.

I found a remedy for these doldrums. A remedy for those times I just want to go home and put this place behind me. I taped the many cards, pictures and letters I received since I have been here, on my wall locker. And every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep the last thing I see are those cards, letters and pictures. Then I remember my reality and where it really exists. For my reality is here and home. My reality here are the many faces of children I see who are cold, hungry, angry, hurt, abandoned, tired, scared, and needy. My reality at home are those who have cared enough and who understand this is where I must be, a calling if you will, and send those emails, cards, letters and packages.

For to be encouraged by you and loved by you frees me to be your hands, your feet, your eyes and your heart in a place where so much danger and suffering have gone on for much too long. I become rejuvenated and determined not to let this place beat me down, not to let the enemy win, not to let people here and back home down. I must finish with honor. Thanks for rescuing me from the bottom of a well.